:S

why the fuck would you go sticking your nose into my business if it doesn't even concern you one bit? why? why are you that kind of human? and the worst part is, i'm not even feeling inspired now! if i was feeling inspired, i would just be able to shoot this shit out no problem.Someone hit the off switch though and i can't figure out how to turn it back on..
Past is past! stop bugging me! i seriously just don't understand you. one moment, we're good then the next moment you talk bad behind my back and that makes me mad.. oh come on, just leave me alone.

wut?

it is 2.40 in the morning and here i am updating this blog,my tumblr and facebooking while watching t.v.. gah! i'm a girl so i can do multiple task.. :) i woke up so late today.. the weather is making me sick.. sunny then rain.. rain then sunny.. WTH? i wanna go out and have some fun..  stayed at home.. watched some movies.. woohoho.. 5 days more to go.. i really need to go to school on monday and tuesday.. then wednesday is a public holiday and foo sure i'm not coming back to school anymore.. bahaha.. (evil laugh) after that, i'm a free b*tch baby.. CUTI MARI.. mls udah aq maw bngun awal pagi.. can't wait to move out..but then i'll be away from my lappy.. aiyo.. never mind lah.. i want to sit back and relax.. haters gonna hate.. :P

To whom it may concern :)

We haven’t talked for a long time, don’t assume that I’m still the person I was when we first met. Don’t assume I’m still the person I was when I left. One year is a long time, believe it or not. Time passes..

I grew up.. Please don’t treat me like a child. I’m much better than that. I learned not to depend on anyone but God and myself. I’m not that needy, annoying little girl I once was.

.. And stop flattering yourself, I don’t need you anymore.

survey :) a lil bit about me

Full Name: Apple Jane Rulloda Aleria
Birthday: June 29th 1994
Single or Taken: Single.
School: St.michael
Eye Color: Brown Black
Hair Color: Black
Righty or Lefty: Lefty. :)

Layer 2: On the Inside 

Fears: Torture. Completely Loneliness. 
Goals: PHD in Psychology.
Regrets: Wasting Anytime on a little boy.
Stress Reliever: Music, Sleeping, Hang out with friends and Jogging.

Layer 3: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow 

Thoughts first waking up: Five more minutes please.
Yesterday: Was eh.
Today: He likes Me ;)
Tomorrow: Will be awesome, cause it can be. :)

Layer 4: Your Picking 

Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi
McDonalds or Burger King: McDo
Single or Group Dates: Eh, it’s been awhile. Both are great.
Tea or Water: Water
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate Forever.
Milk or Coffee: both! 

Layer 5: Do You… 

Think you’ve been in love: I believe I have.
Want to get married: Definitely but not now.
Believe in yourself: Yes, I do. :)

Layer 6: In the Past Month 

Gone to the mall: O’course.
Eaten sushi: yep yummy!
Dyed your hair: once! last 2008
Done something exciting: Not yet :(

Layer 7: Have you ever.. 

Hid something from someone: uhh duh?

Layer 8: Getting Old 

Age you’re hoping to be married:28! ha :)
Age you’re hoping to have children: yeah.. 4 maybe. 

Layer 9: Perfect Guy (As in looks) 

Best Eye Color: Brown. Sexy, hot brown eyes.
Best Hair Color: Blark and Brown
Short or Long Hair: Shaggy

Layer 10: What Were You Doing… 

5 Minutes Ago: Talking to my sister
1 Hour Ago: watching t.v
1 Year Ago: I was unhappy, but it’s different now. I'm picking up the broken pieces :)

Layer 11: Finish The Sentence 

I love: GOD, Family, My friends and My music.
I feel: indifferent.
I hate: headaches.
I hide: my feelings.
I miss: him.
I need: Ibuprofen and YOU!

the feeling that i get when i'm in quite places..

Sitting in a quite place gets me thinking and i seriously hate it! because before i know it my eyes are stinging , tears are flowing and my heart racing.. gaahh! why? 


my emotions are playing up on me again..I can't stand the torture of my feelings.. Going out was one of my priorities back , but school still came first..I don't know what happend when i came back here..Slowly, I became quieter and quieter.I believe if you have nothing to say, it's better to just shut your mouth up. Be authentic! I got tired of conversations that didn't go anywhere. I got tired of people asking me what's wrong, only to get the dirt and not to check how was i doing. It's okay not to care about me, but why the fuck would you go sticking your nose into my business if it doesn't even concern you one bit? I got tired of forced conversations and awkward silences. I got tired of people taking my kindness as my weakness. I got tired of going the extra mile for people, when they won't even meet me half way. it seems that I don't trust anyone anymore.. Don't get me wrong, it's just that my heart is tired and it can't afford another heartbreak. therefore, I only trust GOD.. 

Rambling..

You will never meet someone like me. When you can even handle having a coversation with me without having a blood vessel pop, then we can talk. I’m so much more mature than you are, I am so stupid for even thinking you could actually work out. I blame myself.

you’re so fake

If you find it so effing disgusting or painful or awkward, or whatever is the reason, to see me, then WHY DO YOU TALK TO ME!? LEAVE ME ALONE!

For chri’s sakes. Just, stop talking to me!

I’m sure you don’t want to, why put me in the situation that I have to look at you and answer you, when I know you don’t want to see me!?

I don’t wanna have a reason to look at you. Or to talk to you, for that matter, not even “hi”. I’m sorry, I can be good at pretending, but I don’t wanna pretend around you. I want you to know I feel pain and awkwardness around you, because I know you don’t want me there. I want to leave the politeness and be able tu turn my fucking head even if you’re talking to me.

I don’t want you to say my name more than the necessary. I don’t want you to call me, to act like a person around me in front of everybody else, why wouldn’t you treat me like when we’re alone? Why don’t you avoid me like that?

Common, go ahead, turn you face like you do when nobody’s around. Look to the ground like you do when you pass near me.

DO IT. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BE CONGRUENT! Didn’t you say you were all about congruence? Well, show it! ‘Cause I’m sick about you avoiding me, and later you lookin’ at me and sayin’ things like we were friends. I know you don’t care about being polite, I know you way better than that, then treat me like you feel.

Better, leave. As soon as you can. Leave. Or, leave me live my life. Is your problem, right? You’re the one feeling awkward around me, the one who doesn’t want a friendship and the one who doesn’t want to see me, right? Dissapear!

a quote for you.. :)

“I’ve been thinking about you constantly since I left, wondering why the journey I’m on seemed to have led through you. I know my journey’s not over yet, and that life is a winding path, but I can only hope it somehow circles back to the place I belong. That’s how I think of it now. I belong with you.”

—	Nicholas Sparks (Nights in Rodanthe)

happy deepavali to all hindu's :)

 Tomorrow is Deepavali so all of us are going to Granny's place.. ayee.. i wonder what we will have tomorrow.. I seriously wanna eat Nasi Briyani tomorrow.. haha.. yummy.. so.. i decide to sleep over at granny's house tonight.. gonna stay there for few days.. can't wait for holiday to come.. :) i'm soooo damn lazy to go to school.. lazy bum! can't believe 2010 is going to end soon.. lol.. so fast men! i'll update again when i'm back okay.

what if?

What if every time someone fell in love, a 10 pounds of chocolate was given to a child in Africa?

I don’t know what made me think of that, but it sounds nice, doesn’t it?  Unfortunately, I’m trying to prevent myself from falling in love right now.  But I’m trying to get other people together! I'm just a regular A.J.. :)