Hola :)

Sup guys?

this is my OWN blog so i'm gonna type and post whatever i want okay.. :) Read and maybe you can understand my feelings.. Never ever JUDGE me because you have no rights to do that and only GOD can judge me.. :) if you ever have problems on what i post, you can talk to me. but in a NICE way okay.. I hate RUDE people.. thanks.. :)

Monday, January 24, 2011

silence-

sometimes i feel so alone. i feel so alone i can hear my heart beat and its rythem slowing down losing meaning and motivation. sometimes im so alone i can hear the people talking in the next room about how in love they really are. sometimes im so alone people dont see me and bump into me as they walk by. sometimes i feel so alone that whispers become my comfort, and silence becomes my peace. sometimes im so alone i go on long walks in the night and dont think of anything but the moon because my brain is numb. sometimes im so alone that i sit in a room and remember everything, replay my life, or past year a thousand times. sometimes im so alone i let the silence surround me, and then i dream.
call me insane, but in this world with the way it is, is it so wrong to want to be left alone?
P/S i miss him so badly! Fuck the distance! i wanna be with you. </3

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Sometimes I run out of thoughts. Sometimes I don’t know what to say. It’s hard when you need to tell so many things to someone, and you just freeze in the moment without no words to say. I don’t know how to react to certain things, but I know how you would If I tell you what’s on my mind. I don’t want to be afraid. I want to feel free. I don’t want to hold anything inside, but it’s hard when you know how that person is going to react. It hurts sometimes when you don’t have no one to rely on. It’s hard when you feel alone even though you are in a crowded room. I don’t need this. I’m better than this. I need to be more confident and try my best to be the person I choose to be, and not what others want me to be.Enough of feeling sorry for others. Let me stand out.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

You’re pulling this shit with me, right now? I don’t need another stress to add on. (IDGAF)

Sometimes life throws a fuck load of shit at you. But its not about how much shit you can take, it’s about realising that its happening and still moving with your life. As much as shit can get you down and cause you to stop feeling. Alive. Shit’s happened, and sometimes all you can do is sit down and accept it, even when you really wish that nothing was happening. Fuck this bullshit.. I DONT GIVE A FUCK! i'm tired okay.. soooo damn tired.. why can't i just be happy like i used to be? why can't you people try to understand me.. You don't even know me and i'm sure you've never talked to me then who the hell are you to judge me? YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL! stop judging me like you know me. Nobody knows the real me. Nobody bother to ask if i'm fine or what. so why go busybody poking your nose in my business? Who gives you the right to do that? Do you know that i often cry myself to sleep? do you know that i have trust issue? Do you know that i FUCKING HATE MYSELF? NO! right? see! This is what i'm taking about! why go judging me when you don't even know a thing about me. I've lost a lot of people in my life. People walk away from my life. People hurt me! thats the reason why i act like i don't own a heart. i'm tired of getting hurt! you can call me a cold- hearted girl and so on but before that, make sure you know all about me.


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Saturday, January 15, 2011

wth?

My heart sunk a little. Just a little. Then it lifted back up because I know there are so many wonderful guys who actually care out there and I will find that guy soon enough. soon.Filled with empty thoughts, but I am content on life. I am just gonna start living in the moment and worry bout things as they come along. I vented out some things on my mind. I’ve come to realize I am expecting too much in a short amount of time and I should just let things unfold as time permits.







Thursday, January 13, 2011

:((

I give up. Like I am at the point of breaking. I am just at the mental state where my brain is filled to capacity with confusion. My intellectuals are like not working. It’s like, my brain is just filled with acid, and it’s burning everything in my mind. I have so much on my mind, and every time I think of something new, I just get this feeling that I want to cry. My throat gets all groggy, and my eyes start to sting. But I hold back the tears. I don’t want to seem weak. I know crying is ok. But not when you are just thinking about things. I guess I need to get this all off of my mind. I need to think about all my options, and my priorities right now.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

this is for the GUYS

I know you guys are always wondering why we say or do certain things.
Believe me, we wonder the same thing about you guys too.
Honestly, girls do certain things to see how much you are willing to fight for her. She’ll tell you stupid shit like “Don’t talk to me!” when in reality deep down all she wants is for you to keep reaching out to her.
We may push you away and say “it’s over” when it really isn’t and in reality we just want you to fight for us…
because we just want to know if you will fight for us … we want to know if you truly care, or if you’re just like every other guy out there trying to catch our attention.
So even if we get bitchy at times [especially at that time of the month when we get hormonal haha], trust me …
deep down we appreciate your concern and care dearly… it’s what makes us love you more and more.
So in simple words:
Don’t fuck it up. <3